The Chatroom of Insanity
by death wish girl
Summary: This Harry Potter chatroom will describe in five words; random, Twilight, weirdness, cupcake, pee, and...porn...What the... crack-fic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have this story in my mind for while since the beginning of September but school got in the way but I did it like a brave soldier. I also apologize of my grammar and spelling because English is never my first language. Hope you enjoy my story and laugh your butts off. **

The Chatroom of Insanity

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or any stuff I mention in this story...sigh

**Harry Potter**: TheBoyWhoIsAngst

**Ron Weasley**: ILoveRockBand

**Hermione Granger**: EdwardCullenSparkle

**Draco Malfoy**: Sexy_Beast_Son

**Lucius Malfoy**: Sexy_Beast_Father

**Voldemort**: ILovePorn

Chapter 1

**TheBoyWhoIsAngst has logged in**

**ILoveRockBand has logged in**

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged in**

EdwardCullenSparkle: Have you guys read Twilight yet? It is soo good! Have you watched the movie too! It soo good too!

ILoveRockBand: Who is Twilight? Is it a world map?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: World map?! No, it a stupid muggle book about stupid vampire met a human girl and fell in love. It really pathetic, I mean the author is a crazy lady! Crazy I tell you!

EdwardCullenSparkle: How dare you! Twilight is not a world map! It is not stupid when Edward fell in love with Bella, it was very romantic.

**(A/N: Don't have any hatred of Twilight it just randomly pop in my head.)**

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Twilight is blah; my books are better that piece crap.

ILoveRockBand: I still don't know who Twilight is!? Who is Twilight! Who!?

EdawardCullenSpark: * Gasp loudly * Twilight is not a piece crap! Harry Potter books are piece crap.

ILoveRockBand: Hermione you know you just diss yourself because your in Harry Potter books plus add the movie you're in.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Ha! Take that! Hermione Jean Granger! Ha!

EdwardCullenSparkle: Shut up!

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged off**

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged in**

EdwardCullenSparkle: Edward is sexy.

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged off**

ILoveRockBand: Sooo...do you like Rock Band?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Rock Band? Hell yeah!

ILoveRockBand: Me too!

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Really, it hard to notice you LOVE Rock Band.

ILoveRockBand: I know!

**Sexy_Beast_Son has logged in**

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Sexy_Beast_Son?! Draco.

ILoveRockBand: Hey! You, Draco do you like Rock Band.

Sexy_Beast_Son: What the fuck is Rock Band?

ILoveRockBand: *Gasp loudly * OH MY GOD! You don't know Rock Band is!?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: He little obsessive.

Sexy_Beast_Son: Little? More like a whole lot.

ILoveRockBand: I am not obsessive! I just have rock band t-shirt, cup, poster, dolls, blanket, books, pencil case, towel, porn books of rock band, and whole lot more.

**ILovePorn has logged on**

ILovePorn: Free Porn for everyone! Yah!

**ILovePorn has logged off**

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Owie, why does my scar feel pain all sudden?

ILoveRockBand: Maybe your scar is telling you to buy a cow for a pet.

Sexy_Beast_Son: You dumbass! That was The Dark Lord!

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Voldemort?! No way, how can he like porn isn't he like gay.

**ILovePorn has logged in**

ILovePorn: PORN!

**ILovePorn has logged off**

ILoveRockBand: Yeah! Voldemort is gay; remember that whole rumor at Hogwarts.

Sexy_Beast_Son: Oh god…you dumbass. I'm going leave and eat some cupcakes.

**Sex_Beast_Son has logged off**

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: CUPCAKE!

ILoveRockBand: ROCK BAND!

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Rock Band? Draco said cupcake not Rock Band.

ILoveRockBand: I know, I thought it would be fun said that.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Let's go to Malfoy Manor and get some yummy cupcakes.

ILoveRockBand: Yah!

**TheBoyWhoIsAngst has logged off**

**ILoveRockBand has logged off**

**Sexy_Beast_Father has logged in **

Sexy_Beast_Father: Nobody is here….so sad.

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged in **

EdwardCullenSparkle: Oh, hello, do you like Twilight?

Sexy_Beast_Father: Argh!

**Sex_Beast_Father has logged off**

EdwardCullenSparkle:…hello?! Hello?!

**Review and what you think**

**Later**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, this is the second chapter which I finally updated. Yay! Hope you enjoy and review what you think! XD

* * *

The Chatroom of Insanity

Disclaimer: Did you think I look like I own Harry Potter? No….* sigh loudly*

**Harry Potter**: TheBoyWhoIsAngst

**Ron Weasley**: ILoveRockBand

**Hermione Granger**: EdwardCullenSparkle

**Draco Malfoy**: Sexy_Beast_Son

**Voldemor**t: ILovePorn

**Ginny Weasley**: HarryPotterObsessive

Chapter 2

**Sexy_Beast_Son has logged in**

**TheBoyWhoIsAngst has logged in **

**ILoveRockBand has logged in**

Sexy_Beast_Son: Why the fuck you barge in my house randomly and scream cupcakes.

ILoveRockBand: Well it kind of your fault that you mention cupcakes yesterday and you know how Harry and I LOVE CUPCAKES.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Yummy cupcakes *drool*

Sexy_Beast_Son: Yeah, it that not hard to notice you LOVE cupcakes mostly when you tackle my mother and father and later had to send St Mungo, thanks to you!

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: I told them to move the away.

Sexy_Beast_Son: THEY HAVE A BROKEN ARM AND LEG BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

ILoveRockBand: Sooo…

Sexy_Beast_Son: They are…nevermind you dumbass

ILoveRockBand: We are smart, right Harry.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: I'm smart you're stupid.

ILoveRockBand: * gasp gasp* How dare you I am smart!

Sexy_Beast_Son: Sure, you are.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Then what is 2+2?

IloveRockBand: Easy, 152.

Sexy_Beast_Son: Smart…very smart…

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Good job, idiot.

ILoveRockBand: Yay me!

Sexy_Beast_Son: I don't know why I bother hanging out with you.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Because we are sexy!

Sexy_Beast_Son: Excuse me, I am way sexier then you are loser.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: You bitch!

Sexy_Beast_Son: I am a bitch. *smirk*

ILoveRockBand: Sooo, Draco is a female dog?!

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Sure…a female dog.

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged in**

EdwardCullenSparkle: Hi guys, guess what, I heard the most disgusting rumour ever in Hogwarts.

Sexy_Beast_Son: Is it the Pee Story?

EdwardCullenSparkle: Yeah! It is the Pee Story, soo gross.

ILoveRockBand: Pee Story?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: What Pee Story? How come I didn't hear this?

EdwardCullenSparkle: Because you guys are too busy talking about Quidditch everyday.

Sexy_Beast_Son: Guys, continue on the subject.

EdwardCullenSparkle: Oh yeah, anyway, this girl in Gryffindor is a total slut her and yesterday I found out she had plastic surgery for her breast to size D. She thinks nobody knows about this but everyone knows, I mean how could her breast have size A to D all sudden.

ILoveRockBand: How is that involve Pee Story?

EdwardCullenSparkle: Shut up! Let me continued.

EdwardCullenSparkle: Anyway, this girl she was at a muggle party and was totally drunk and this random guy ask her if he could let her pee on her and she said….YES. Even more gross that the guys think it was a turn on. So, gross. I mean what the fuck is wrong with her I use to have a little respect for her now it just gone.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Wow, just wow.

ILoveRockBand: That's sexy.

Sexy_Beast_Son: What did you said!

EdwardCulllenSparkle: Ewww, Ron! I didn't want to hear that!

**EdwardCullenSparkle has logged off **

ILoveRockBand: What? What did I say wrong?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: You're stupid, Ron.

Sexy_Beast_Son: For once I agree with Potter.

ILoveRockBand: You guys are soo mean!

**HarryPotterObsessive has logged in**

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Oh god, please not her.

HarryPotterObsessive: Hi Harry! It's me Ginny.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: NNNNOOOOOOO!

HarryPotterObsessive: Harry, I have this dream of you and me that we're marry and have 25 children. We also love eachother so much. * sighed in lovely dovey * such a great dream.

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: NNNNOOOOOOOO!

Sexy_Beast_Son: Hahahaha! You got a fangirl!

ILoveRockBand: Sucks to be you!

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: ARGH! SHUT UP!

HarryPotterObsessive: Aww, Pumpkin are you alright?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: Don't call me that stupid nickname!

HarryPotterObsessive: Sweetie Pie?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: NO!

HarryPotterObsessive: My Kitten Bum?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: No!

HarryPottterObsessive: My little Harry Poo Poo?

TheBoyWhoIsAngst: NO! NO! NNNNOOOO!!!

**TheBoyWhoIsAngst has logged off**

HarryPotterObsessive: Harry Poo Poo don't leave me alone!

**HarryPotterObsessive has logged off**

Sexy_Beast_Son: Hahahahahaha that was so friggin funny…I'm bored now.

ILoveRockBand: Wanna play Rock Band?

Sexy_Beast_Son: What the fuck is Rock Band?

ILoveRockBand: YOU'RE ARE COMING TO MY HOUSE AND PLAY ROCK BAND, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

Sexy_Beast_Son: Okay, okay I'm coming, jeez.

**Sexy_Beast_Son has logged off**

**ILoveRockBand has logged off**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey readers, sorry for not updated for a long time. School got in they way...I know, I know no excuse. I kinda rush this chapter, so, I don't really like this chapter. Oh, by the way I really need a beta badly...please * puppy eyes ***

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! If I do I WOULD BE RICH...not really.

Chapter 3

**Voldemort**: IlovePorn

**Draco Malfoy**: Sexy_Beast_Son

**Lucius Malfoy**: Sexy_Beast_Father

**Bellatrix Lestrange**: BowDownToVoldy

**Regulus Black**: NotSiriusSeriously

**Rodolphus Lestange**: rubberXducky

**ILovePorn has logged in**

**BowDownToVoldy has logged in**

**Sexy_Beast_Father has logged in**

Sexy_Beast_Father: Voldy? How dare you use such an insulting nickname for the Dark Lord?

BowDownToVoldy: Hey, I was too lazy to write Voldemort, but if the Dark Lord wants me to change my

username... I would do anything for him....even sex.

Sexy_Beast_Father: Oh, god

ILovePorn: STOP TALKING LIKE I'M NOT THERE!!!!!

BowDownToVoldy: IT'S LUCIUS FAULT NOT ME!

Sexy_Beast_Father: How dare you! Who help you brush your hair? Hmm? ME! Who help you wash your hair....once again ME!

BowDownToVoldy: That was two years ago.

Sexy_Beast_Father: No, that was yesterday not two years ago.

ILovePorn: DAMN IT! STOP TALKING LIKE I'M DEAD...or something like that....I think.

Sexy_Beast_Father: I'm sorry My Lord...forgive me. * low bow *

BowDownToVoldy: Oh forgive me My Lord!!! Don't hurt ME! I LOVE YOU!

Sexy_Beast_Father: That is sooo not shocking!

BowDownToVoldy: You, shut up.

**Sexy_Beast_Son has logged in**

Sexy_Beast_Son: Father, the washing machine is not working.

Sexy_Beast_Father: Did you press the red button?

Sexy_Beast_Son: ...Nnoooo.....

Sexy_Beast_Father: Then press the red button! GO!

Sexy_Beast_Son: Okay, okay....jeez.

**Sexy_Beast_Son has logged off**

**NotSiriusSeriously has logged in**

BowDownToVoldy: Hey, Sirius!

Sexy_Beast_Father: Hey Sirius!

ILovePorn: Hey, Sirius!

NotSiriusSeriously: I'm not Sirius, seriously!

ILovePorn: Sure and I like porn!

NotSiriusSeriously: Everyone knows you like porn!!! I'm Regulus the younger brother of Sirius!

BowDownToVoldy: Sure buddy pretending to be Regulus, Sirius! You think I'm stupid! I'M NOT STUPID!

Sexy_Beast_Father: Smart, please. A door knob is smarter then you. Right Sirius

NotSiriusSeriously: ARGH! THAT IT! I'M LEAVING!

**NotSiriusSeriously has logged off **

BowDownToVoldy: He makes me laugh think he can fool me being Regulus.

ILovePorn: Dumbass, MUWHAHAHAHA!!

Sexy_Beast_Father: What so funny? Why is he laughing I don't get it? I'm sooo confuse.

**rubberXducky has logged in**

rubberXducky: Honey, your soap opera show is on.

BowDownToVoldy: Which one?

rubberXducky: Hmm, Cupcake the Around the World.

BowDownToVoldy: LET'S WATCH IT NOW! POPCORN! POPCORN! POPCORN

**BowDownToVoldy has logged off **

**rubberXducky has logged off**

Sexy_Beast_Father: Umm, I gotta go I have to wash my....ummm...car...yeah....bye

**Sexy_Beast_Father has logged off **

ILovePorn: Who going read porn with me now...I'm sad.


End file.
